White Resonant Wizard

Today on the Tzolken Calendar is White Resonant Wizard. (for more info go: http://resonanttruth.com/, http://www.icandosomething.com/mayancalendar/, http://lawoftime.org/thirteenmoon.html)

It is my galactic/mayan birthday. I was first introduced to this calendar last year at the end of August....the end of the first moon/month of this particular way of viewing time, and soon after it was my 'mayan' birthday. (I say 'mayan' loosely because its not EXACTLY mayan, but its a calendar modeled after the mayan one). Since the year is in a cycle of 260 days (or so). Its not even a year is up and Its my birthday again. This brings me back to looking at my journey for the past 260 days. I started by driving north, and I ended up here. Its amazing....

My code spell for today and my birthday is:

I channel in order to enchant,

inspiring receptivity

i seal the output of timelessness with the resonant tone of attunement

I am guided by the power of death

reading this now makes sense.....I do channel..I channel a higher voice, god, creation...and when i'm really in tune...it does enchant...people get it. they start making changes, they start doing things for themselves which is often. I inspire people to open up and be receptive.....I've been doing this my entire life. in the moment they're against me, and fight me, or deny it. but later....all of my intense personal relationships...after i've moved out of the way, they have ALL made changes for themselves for the better. It took a while but they opened up just a little bit. and that created more opening up. 

Now this part I kind of struggled with, because there's this need to have the recognition that I inspired that in you. So when it wasn't immediate gratification I was discouraged....And anyways the change wasnt for me...it was FOR the other person. That was a gift. 

Wizard is modern day shaman, I've always been connected to another way of thinking and viewing the world. Growing up I didn't believe that this is all their was....when I was told of the idea of heaven...it didn't make sense....why would you need streets paved of gold when you are dead...gold is just a shiny metal. I don't ever consciously remember anyone telling me I HAD to believe what they believed, and that they were right and I was wrong....but somewhere along the line I got turned away (almost visciously) from organized religion. And I found my way in another direction....to end up believing the same things that jesus taught. So...go figure, I found my way....differently.

So a shaman is a seer, someone who is connected to multiple worlds, a healer, a teacher, a guide. I am most of these...and becoming the others. It is in my nature to lead, but not tell you what to do.  I'll give you the tools for you to create your own way. 

i seal of timelessness with attunement. Attunement in the dictionary is: being or bringing into harmony; a feeling of being "at one" with another being. Being in tune with others. (resonant is the name of the tone). I seal the timelessness with a sense of being at one and in tune. Timelessness....between things and time.....there is space, there is a timelessness that pervades everything if we just stop and see it. 

Part of my birth here on this planet, what is an underlying driving force... is to bring people (and myself) in tune with each other, and in tune with the space between things...otherwise known as the divine. 

I am guided by the power of death. I'm actually guided by the seal worldbridger who's power is death. Death here is not a bad thing. Death is a space and a connection to the other side (again the shaman). Death is an end of one form, to create space for that energy to begin another form. 

I'm reminded of the Death card in Tarot, people think it's a bad sign. But death is a necessary force in our world. Somethings HAVE to end, in order to make room for new creation. 

As humans we get so caught up in this need for everything to be the same, and comfortable...and well....its boring. Have you ever told someone, or heard  someone tell you 'don't ever change'? do you Really not want them to grow and change?  Change is the name of the game to stay relevant and growing and thriving and LIVING. That is our purpose....death is a necessary part. And you know what? the only thing that fears death is our ego. The part of us that NEEDS an identity. In buddhism they teach that life is suffering.....and it is! its a lot of pain, especially when we get sucked into our ego and the role we've chosen. But when the body dies....the soul is free, it no longer has to be burdened by the pain and suffering of life. That is immense JOY. The only ones who are pained by death are those of us left behind, so we make it a bad thing in our culture.....its not ok to feel the grief, the pain...its bad....But really death of a loved one can be an incredibly healing experience if you allow yourself to HAVE your emotions....yes it hurts, because you are attached. But the part of that person or animal that you connected with...is the part that never dies, they are always with you in essence. LOVE....that stays. 

So my guide is death....change, movement....Even when I get stuck in familiarity...in what's 'SAFE'. (i'm usually not having a lot of fun) and eventually I've found ...if I fight it.....my soul, higher power, god source, whathaveyou....actually PUSHES me out into change....If i don't embrace the change, it's a painful lesson. Those things I was grasping onto are slowly and systematically or all at once ripped out of my hands by the universe. A good lesson to remember for myself, is if I don't respond to the gentle nudging my intuition is SCREAMING at me....and I continue to sit in denial and don't attempt to make any change.....things start happening somewhat traumatically.

When I just left the Bay....I needed to leave, I was stressed and overwhelmed and in pain. I had been feeling for years that I needed to leave but I finally built up the courage to take the step...it felt like the only logical step at the time...the only avenue left open for me. And i've been driving by intuition since. I've somehow become more open and in tune with the gentle nudges. AS SOON as I start to take on a job, mindset, task...whatever that is NOT in alignment with what I really want...I FEEL it. I feel tired, lethargic, stresssed, spacey....resistance.

So i've been going with the flow of the universe, gliding along what's presented to me, and flowing around and to things. It means giving up control, and a sense of empowerment from that control....but that control is what's been giving me so much stress...or really the NEED to control. the control itself didn't do anything (because WHO can REALLY control anything? its all an illusion anyways), but losing the sense of control that thought i had had, and trying to keep it the same....STRESSED ME OUT. 

So i've tried something new...and every day I find more things to let go of, more things to stop trying t control...and I've found that when I do that. Life is AHHHHMAAAZZZIINNGG.

I looked up my code, seal and tone today. and it says: 

"When operating in the light of your energy, the positive aspects are: Receptivity, integrity, heart, knowing, jaguar {cool right?}, shape shifter, priest, magician, torch bearer, supernatural, alignment with divine will"

and 

"When operating in the shadow of your energy, typical symptoms are: Will out of alignment with divine will, issues of integrity, personal power, control, need for approval and recognition, mind out of alignment with heart knowing"

"Transformation: to come out of the shadow: open to heart knowing and limitless possibilities. Be transparent, innocently allowing magic to come through you rather than needing to create it"

So I read all that and was like...."holy shit balls batman!" I read this a year ago and I remember being in turmoil and denial about it. But the past 4 months i've been doing just that, coming into alignment. AND NOW....all of these things makes sense! When I am in alignment with divine will and my integrity and my heart center, things flow endlessly, effortlessly, abundantly....and the best part is I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING! ALL I have to do is have fun and be IN MY JOY and just live and love and FOLLOW my BLISS. But THE MOMENT I try to control, shape, bind, divide, sort, edit....the more all of this constricts and I'm in stress and pain and in a state of mind of having less...and I end up creating 'having less'. And i'm right back where I've started....except now I  have a gained and added awareness.

So this was my miracle today.....to realize that I have gained at least a foothold into this awareness, i'm on my way to being a heart-knowing jaguar, shapeshifter, priest magician, supernatural torch-bearer who's IN receptivity and aligned with her integrity and divine will...ALL THE TIME. I feel like i'm all that maybe %30 of the time....but its growing and getting bigger. 

Today was a day of gratitude and gratefulness, my heart filled with all the love I have recieved from universe and god THROUGH the people around me. By just them being who they were and behaving how they behave in any given moment, has been a tremendous miracle for me. I realized today for the first time in a long time that I truly belong and I don't OWE anybody ANYTHING. I don't have to BE a certain way, or do certain things, I can be who I am and act in accordance to my self integrity and I STILL BELONG...I am still included even if I have to go take a nap because i'm tired and cranky. The more I've connected with this gratitude and knowing, it has actually started to be SHOWN to me...people who i would try and connect with and maybe connive for hangout and getting to know them are automatically coming to ME, inviting me in verbally. When that's all I wanted before...is to just know I was included....and I am....and I DON'T HAVE to go just because i'm invited and I feel like i'll be cast away if I don't. I know..that I am valued and will continue to be a part of this group....without the attachments and expectations....THIS....is FREEDOM. And it feels me with love, for myself and for all others who have contributed to my life. And it allows me to finally see what my actions were doing to other people and to forgive myself......finally.

And another miracle.....we have a guest here who's kind of needy for attention and company, (mostly just wants to talk and connect) and was starting to get on some of our nerves (we're coming off two weeks of a yoga retreat here and need some empty space)....and then I realized the reason she was getting on my nerves...is because in my mind I felt obligated to spend time with her. That obligation stressed me out and I couldn't handle it. The moment I gave myself some space and a little time....I realized 'THAT WAS ME 4 months ago when I first got here, looking for companionship and just.....company....someone to spend some time with. The more time here i've gotten used to the down time and being alone more, and its been magical. But once I realized that, I was able to have compassion for her, and see myself in her...and forgive the annoying part of myself I was seeing reflected back to me through her. And once I was able to forgive and let go of any obligation, I wanted to extend to her love, and invited her to sushi....and she churned her way through making 3 delicious apple pies.....Pies she can't even eat....EVERYBODY is valuable and worthwhile and have something to contribute....sometimes they just need the space to do that. I find that I really enjoy creating that space for others to contribute.  <3