windy night

The wind, the ground, the space.

Theres always a sense of calm for me on a windy night. I could listen to the world talk for hours. the wind buffeting the structure i'm housed in... is peaceful.  My senses become keyed and tuned in to other noises. A crow's cry, wind chimes, the river, frogs, cars going by, bird's chirp. In that space of just be-ing....is peace, is fullness....is whole. THAT is connection with the divine source, and it opens of the channels, makes room to create. Sharing that space with another human who is just as inclined to listen and feel, is invigorating. Presence, begats presence. Space is created, the magic starts to happen, creations manifest easily, there is a flow.

It's soothing, and quiets and massages the inner parts of me. those parts that were bunched up with anxiousness can now release and let go. I become a river, allowing thoughts and feelings to flow through me.

this presence with others is healing. I want more of it, quiet conversation, with lots of space to formulate words and thoughts. Its the calm feeling i get when sitting around a bonfire. I've had many awesome human interactions around fire. The fire gives you an 'excuse' to not HAVE to talk, and when you do talk, the experience is calm and healing, because i am speaking not from a need to fit or connect, but from a genuine desire to connect. No expectations. just talk, see what comes up, see how the conversation flows, see where it goes. And then sitting in comfortable silences, feeling what has been said, being in the moment.

showing myself, my inner workings to another, without the need or want to be healed..to just..communicate. here i am, this is me...for now

sharing helps me formulate who i am, what i am creating, and what i want to create. It just seems to be my process. I don't articulate my ideas very well through the spoken word. it takes me time and space to get an idea across. With writing its quiet, i'm not competing......that's what was different....i wasn't competing...i was curious and just being curious and present calms my social anxieties. huh....who'd a thunk it?